Money can be something of a taboo in any relationship. It can even stoke tensions and breed resentment.
It has been said that talking about money can improve marriage satisfaction, yet many husbands and wives fail to discuss the topic openly. Ideally, this situation should be remedied, securing a more prosperous and transparent future for you both.
Still, not everybody is content when discussing money. You and your partner may have different comfort levels, and it can be something of a learning curve as you both test and relax each other’s boundaries on the issue.
How should you approach talking about money with your partner? Below, you will find tips to help you break down these walls amicably.
Lead Discussions with Data
Every discussion around money should be an in-depth analysis of data. Personal insults and wild accusations should be firmly left off the table.
Approach these matters with as much tact if possible. Print off separate bank statements and highlight areas of interest. You can then come together and discuss whether you drew similar conclusions. Try to stay calm and reasonable irrespective of your findings.
Remember that though this is a joint exercise, you should be trying to behave by example. You cannot expect your partner to have a measured response to financial discussions if they can see that you are tense and irate. It is difficult to remain composed, especially if your finances are in a troubling situation, but remaining factual and respectful is crucial.
Things like conspiracy theories rarely lead loved ones to mutual understandings at the best of times. Sticking to the facts will aid your discussion in that more realistic solutions to financial problems can be unearthed. You could also refer to articles you’ve dug up online, leading your discussions with additional research that can shape your discussions.
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Discuss Your Personal Feelings
Data-orientated discussions around finances are important, but that does not mean your subjective feelings should not be disclosed at any juncture. During any money situation, what you and your partner feel matters enormously.
Unfortunately, financial stress can significantly stall plans for the future, so these matters need to be addressed as soon as they arise. They can also become taxing and overwhelming from a mental well-being standpoint, causing either yourself or your partner to act out of character. You may be less likely to lash out at each other when discussing financial matters by venting these burdens.
Though financial stress can be all-consuming, it is imperative to acknowledge that your own concerns are only part of the puzzle. Fine-tune your listening skills. Make sure that there is a healthy back and forth between you and your partner. Give them enough time to speak and make sure they feel heard out. Your conversation around money will not be successful unless you completely understand one another’s fears and anxieties.
Open a Joint Account Together
When your financial situations are linked, discussing money with your partner will not be an option but a necessity. Your fates can be somewhat interwoven, making dialogue crucial.
Discover the best joint bank account you could hope for with Tally. They will help you navigate the process of streamlining your finances, detailing the pros and cons of the different account types. You will not be forced into anything, as they will also advise you on whether a joint account is good for you and your partner in your circumstances.
Discussions can be teamwork orientated under these measures. You can strategize together more acutely on how best to manage your spending and saving. Financial experts can also act as temporary mediators of sorts, ensuring that only positive and constructive decisions are made. After that, you and your partner may feel more inclined to discuss money matters.
Joint accounts also bring a measure of transparency. If you and your partner were suspicious of each other’s spending habits, at least part of these skepticisms can be cleared up. More trust can be created between you, making discussing money a less tense ordeal.
Mention Upbringings
Attitudes to money can often be derived from childhood factors. Gaining insights into each other’s upbringing may give you some idea of how you both value and perceive money and explain any differences.
There are key questions you can ask each other here. They are:
- Did your parents fight about money? Any tensions may explain why you or your partner are hypersensitive to spending concerns. These dynamics could have an opposite effect as well, making the offspring of such a family want to avoid money discussions altogether.
- Did your parents teach you about money? Some parents raise their children with financial lessons in mind, such as savings accounts, summer jobs, and other additional money goals. These efforts can have a far-reaching influence on one’s attitude to money.
- Did your parents have many financial pressures? If people are exposed to fewer luxuries and vacations in their early lives, it may affect how they spend and manage their money as an adult.
By understanding one another’s backgrounds, you and your partner may be able to display greater empathy and understanding toward each other’s financial quirks. With this information, you can better persuade each other to change behaviors when managing money. Additionally, these talking points can improve your general relationship with your finances.
Value Honesty Above All Else
It is worth reiterating the importance of honesty when discussing financial issues with your partner. If you are yet to marry, this does not mean that your personal financial situation will not affect your partner in some capacity.
For example, any debts you might have will become a major issue for them if you decide to tie the knot or move in together. Suppose you proceed with these engagements before having a frank discussion about your finances. In that case, it can be a relationship-ending experience – especially if they hear about your situation from somebody else.
In the end, it is worth remembering that your partner is supposed to be a supportive figure. Obviously, you should be willing to step into the same role yourself. Strife can either make or break relationships. If yours is meant to be, then financial concerns will just be another challenge you can overcome together.