When a partner is on their period, you can feel somewhat helpless. It is a rather private ordeal, and offering your two cents on any part of it can seem inconsiderate and inappropriate.
If you have a degree of tact and compassion, there are things you can do in this situation to support your partner. Approach things in the right manner, and it can bring you closer as a couple.
Should you be a cisgender man or transgender woman, each month, you will have an opportunity to prove how educated and thoughtful you are on the subject, rather than ignorant and dismissive of it, as some people can be.
Of course, if you have periods yourself, this does not necessarily mean you are equipped to help a partner at this challenging time. Different factors may need to be considered to ensure you can play that support role effectively.
So, what help can you offer a partner on their period? Read on after the jump to find out.
Dismantle Stigmas and Taboos
It can be hard to help a partner on their period if the experience is seldom discussed. Still, it is a natural bodily function, and removing stigmas and taboos around the subject will free up the subject for dialogue.
The first thing you should do is remind yourself of the extent of the suppression. Unfortunately, through generations, people have been conditioned to believe that periods are shameful, triggering harmful effects on their healthcare decisions, self-perception, and general well-being. The feelings surrounding them can be complicated and extend far beyond a general embarrassment.
It may be helpful to discuss things from a historical standpoint first. That way, your partner can discuss these matters from others’ perspectives at the start. As they become increasingly passionate about the subject and more comfortable discussing it, they may be more willing to talk about some of their menstrual experiences that they have long kept internalized and need support with.
Insightful conversations are starting to be had worldwide, but this does not mean that your partner may be immediately willing to talk about such things openly. Try not to make assumptions and realize individuals will set their boundaries. In your case, the dialogue may need to build momentum as comfort levels evolve. Let your partner know that you are available to talk about anything, and give them space to direct the discourse as they may.
Remedy Cramps
People can experience varying degrees of discomfort during their menstrual cycle. It is important to have an answer for the more extreme ends of that spectrum.
Take a look at Dr. Ruscio’s insightful explanation of natural remedies for menstrual cramps, detailing everything you and your partner could wish to know on the subject. Probiotics and healthy fats are explained and recommended, and specific diets and exercises readers can follow to resolve the pains. Probiotics can even help stop recurring BV. Learn about these strategies as a pair, showcasing your investment toward remaining informed alongside your partner.
Obviously, cramps anywhere in the body can be an enormously unpleasant experience. Still, that discomfort can be intensified during a menstruation cycle, so actively helping your partner work toward key solutions would likely be looked on favorably.
Not only this, but Dr. Ruscio’s suggestions can help readers adopt better habits in their lifestyle. Some of the changes in diet and exercise can have positive effects beyond those involving menstruation. Adhering to these measures can be liberating and enrich one’s life, so they are worth following on that basis too.
Respect Gender’s Role
Gender may play a part in how you help your partner with their period. It is important to be sensitive to how these matters can shift the nuance of the situation.
Your elaborate takes on menstruating may not be wholly appreciated if you are a man. There will always be a gap in experience and understanding in those circumstances. If you can be mindful of that and openly acknowledge such things, your partner may just come to appreciate your support more on account of that recognition.
If your partner is a transgender man, then he can experience immense dysphoria when menstruating, which adds a different dimension to the proceedings. It is highly important to be aware of these struggles. Read around the issue, speak to any trans contacts who are comfortable discussing the issue, and pay close attention to your partner’s mental and emotional well-being at this time.
Remember that coming to terms with the nuances of gender differences is often a process of learning. Few people rarely get everything right at every opportunity. It can be challenging to take in another’s point of view when lived experiences are so different due to gender. Still, do your best, and it will likely mean a lot to your partner that you are making that effort.
Avoid Being Patronizing
When your partner is struggling with something intense, words of support can often seem patronizing. You can fall into many traps here, irrespective of your gender.
Reading around the subject is a good starting point, allowing your words to be informed at least. Still, even if you are educated on these matters, the timing of your input is crucial. Menstrual cycles an ebb and flow, and there will be times when your words are likely to be unwelcome, regardless of your skill or intent.
Let your partner know that you are there for them should they need anything. After that, wait for them to approach you on such matters. Everyone needs their own space at the best of times. Assuming that you are above such common-sense notions could make you come across as intrusive and condescending.
When someone is experiencing a period, their behavior can fluctuate. Even the most innocent comments can irritate. Try to be as understanding as possible. If you are not a fan of your partner’s behavior, raise it with them after their periods are finished for the month.
Stock Up
Menstrual products need to be acquired. Showing that you can pick them up without debate or issue during the occasional weekly shopping trip can highlight your thoughtful nature. Even if your partner has supplies already, it does not hurt to have extras ready to go.
There has been much furore about acquiring menstrual products in recent times. From taxation on products to lack of access overseas, many people rightly view acquiring these products as a necessity rather than a luxury. If you can play a role in securing them, it could have a meaningful impact on your partner, depending on their attitudes and how sensitively they regard these issues.
If your partner is a transgender man, then they may appreciate you stocking up on menstrual products on their behalf. These items are often found in sections of stores devoted to women and thus surrounded by similar goods. The products are often marketed to be ‘girly’ too, featuring pink color schemes, for instance. Doing this for them can prevent them from experiencing another dysphoric ordeal and would likely be greatly appreciated.
Ask your partner what menstrual products and brands they prefer. That way, you can be certain that they are not dealing with inferior variations. It will also prove how invested you are in their well-being and that you want to get things right with precision.